The Winds of Change

It has been a while since I have been here. Life has just been hard these last few months, so I have been focusing mostly on just living, nurturing my children and planning what the next step is from here.

 I realised in the weeks following the February quake that the life I knew was gone. Initially I couldn't think to much about the future. But soon, I began to feel the gentle winds of change starting to blow. As the weeks moved forward, a new path slowly began to appear. This week, those plans will reach a climax as we pack up our lives and move 5 hours south. We are moving away from everything and everyone we know, to begin a new life.

Time for me to take a deep breath and jump into my new life... wish me luck.

Christchurch

People ask me, 'Whats it like? Living in Christchurch at the moment?' The truth is, I don't even know where to begin in answering that question because the answer is too huge. But I will try.
 

Life as I knew it, came to a halt on February 22nd. That may sound dramatic but it is true. Everything I did, everything I knew, everywhere I went, it all changed in less than a minute.  I live in the east of the city, the most badly damaged area. What the earthquake did not destroy, the rockfall finished off.

I feel many days like a boat set adrift at sea. I miss my old life, I miss things being easy. I miss being able to go to the store. I miss not having to plan where I am going to walk or drive to avoid damage. I miss not having portaloos dotted along our street.  But mostly I just miss the normality of the life I had.

It is hard answering my three year old when she points at another rock, another crack or another damaged house and asks "did the earthquake do that Mummy?", my response is always "yes sweetheart". After a pause she always replies "I don't like earthquakes Mummy".

It is hard to provide the little ones with reassurance to their fears when daily we are reminded of the power of mother nature with every aftershock that hits. Even as I write this, another earthquake has rattled us. Everyone stops for a minute, breath inhaled, remembering, waiting to see if this one is going to be a big one. It is not, we exhale and try to convince our hearts to slow down and move on with life.

I have come to realize that Christchurch will not recover from this for a very long time. We are very much a city on our knees. While I hear a lot of positivity from the politicians and the media. Living here, living in it, I know the damage is just too huge. This won't be fixed this year, or next year or the year after that.  It will take decades.

It makes me sad, to see this city I love, reduced to this. 

Her New Glasses

In amongst all the chaos that has become our lives post February 22nd, my little girl got her first pair of glasses. You may remember me telling you a wee while ago about Holly's eyesight. We went back to see the pediatric specialist who confirmed her eyesight is indeed atrocious in both eyes due to severe longsightedness, which has in turn caused the weaker eye to switch off. The new glasses is the first step in improving her eyesight.

Luckily, she has been very excited about them and has taken to wearing them easily. The first few days she walked round like a headmistress, peering over the top of her spectacles, but within a few days, she had adjusted to them and is actually very proud of her glasses.

It has changed her too, her personality. She used to be so shy and quiet. She used to stick close to me. Now she can see better, her confidence is beginning to grow. She is starting to come out of her shell, she is now happy to run far ahead of me and run fast- without falling over! She even looks different, more grown up some how. Funny that one little pair of glasses can do so much for one little girl.